Friday, June 09, 2006

A different kind of high

Question:

If I chat up a girl at the bar, and she tells me she's a dancer, and I go all starry-eyed and impressed, and ask her "what type of dancer", and she replies "lion dance", do I still have to buy her a drink?

Now I hope I don't give the impression that I like to drink a lot. In fact, I hate getting high because it feels like a cactus is growing on my head, and, you know, I'm not all that fond of thorns.

But I suppose...drinking has its uses. Well, for one thing, it helps put a wet blanket over my amygdala. Aha! And you thought I thought amygdala was Queen Amidala's cousin. Tsk. Just so you know, let me state that I sometimes misspell names in Google and end up learning new words, so there.

But drinking isn't the only way to get high. I remember the first time I smoked a joint, it was during my era of self discovery marked by milestones such as getting a tattoo, a piercing, and losing my virginity. (no, not last week, smartass)

Being inexperienced, I finished the joint quickly and was somewhat disappointed when the physical effects I was expecting didn't show, while my buddies all looked like they were in Tahiti with their eyes half closed.

So I called up a girl I rather fancied. The last part of our conversation will forever remain etched in my memory as a tribute to the day milk spilt out of God's nose when he laughed so hard at me.

Girl: ....um...are you listening to me?
Me: Why, of course I am, of course, of course. I am listening to your voice, from the other end of the phone, through the wires and into my ear and then....er....wait....why am I talking about my ear?
Girl: .........what?
Me:...........what?

Well, suffice to say, my plane overshot Tahiti and crashed straight into Hell. I spent the next hour puking out everything but the kitchen sink. The fact that I was puking into the kitchen sink seemed like a cruel irony.

Yes, great story for the grandkids, but I actually did want to talk about my amygdala. But, come to think of it, it's too depressing a subject. My life is a tragic kingdom. Maybe next post.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

hmm..yes, if you want a sneak peek at how they do lion dances? err..swt

amygdala..I'm actually reading my notes at the moment about the it. Bleh~. -___- it isn't fun.

You got a tattoo of...? O__o

1:59 PM  
Blogger Numenor05 said...

Maybe she's really really flexible.. so you might be tempted to buy her a drink...;)

2:49 PM  

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