I suck
What am I doing now?
For all my powers of inventiveness, which, incidentally, is not just the offspring of necessity but of indolence, and my God-given talents of finding significance in the farthest reaches of my fantasy-addled rationalizations, I cannot, for the life of me, imagine anyone curious enough to want to know the answer.
But I'll tell you anyway, because I, the owner of this blog with nary a clue of a title to settle upon, have nothing else to do.
I'm listening to Billy Joel's New York State of Mind over and over on earphones dangling over my keyboard typing out a post that I have yet to anchor to a coherent topic, whilst methodically, if such a thing is possible considering the objective, getting myself drunk.
I am confident the vodka flowing through my veins is not only messing with the neurotic synapses of my brain that informs my "thinking" cortex of the emotions I'm supposed to be feeling, but it also affords me a rare yet momentous opportunity to use the word synapses and cortex in the same sentence.
Oh nevermind the fact that I'm out of my preffered drug of choice of whiskey and have to settle for the anti-larynx, Malaysian-idol-ambition killing poison that my sisters and the rest of the sane world call vodka.
Oh my friends, I am sorry I keep changing the title of my blog, and I realize this may or may not alter the universe in ways such as the likes of which have never been seen before, but as my online buddy technorati tells me, nine people who link to me couldn't possibly expect anything less. Oh yes, technorati tells me stuff like that.
Don't let my flawless grammer fools you. I'm as sober as a wino. I keep writing lines of poetry, most of which I never publish, and all for only one person in the entire world, who, if you must know, has evidently vowed never more to acknowledge my existence.
I look at the mirror
this is what i see
i totally suck.
For all my powers of inventiveness, which, incidentally, is not just the offspring of necessity but of indolence, and my God-given talents of finding significance in the farthest reaches of my fantasy-addled rationalizations, I cannot, for the life of me, imagine anyone curious enough to want to know the answer.
But I'll tell you anyway, because I, the owner of this blog with nary a clue of a title to settle upon, have nothing else to do.
I'm listening to Billy Joel's New York State of Mind over and over on earphones dangling over my keyboard typing out a post that I have yet to anchor to a coherent topic, whilst methodically, if such a thing is possible considering the objective, getting myself drunk.
I am confident the vodka flowing through my veins is not only messing with the neurotic synapses of my brain that informs my "thinking" cortex of the emotions I'm supposed to be feeling, but it also affords me a rare yet momentous opportunity to use the word synapses and cortex in the same sentence.
Oh nevermind the fact that I'm out of my preffered drug of choice of whiskey and have to settle for the anti-larynx, Malaysian-idol-ambition killing poison that my sisters and the rest of the sane world call vodka.
Oh my friends, I am sorry I keep changing the title of my blog, and I realize this may or may not alter the universe in ways such as the likes of which have never been seen before, but as my online buddy technorati tells me, nine people who link to me couldn't possibly expect anything less. Oh yes, technorati tells me stuff like that.
Don't let my flawless grammer fools you. I'm as sober as a wino. I keep writing lines of poetry, most of which I never publish, and all for only one person in the entire world, who, if you must know, has evidently vowed never more to acknowledge my existence.
I look at the mirror
this is what i see
i totally suck.
posted by caffeinated at 1:19 AM
8 Comments:
change title again har....u dun suck la...ur just in a phase..the "sulking" phase...
my first thought..'suck what?' when i read ur title. but, anyways, i agree with fashionasia... you would feel better in ur own time..
Don't let yourself sink downwards! There are plenty other people who love you for who you are and you know it. Take this rocky phase as a test for your inner strength.
Hang in there, okay?
Hi! Thanks for the link! I'm going to link you, too, OK?
Heyz!
Been reading your blog for a while now...the poems(and the posts) are very insightful..and I agree with the rest..
You don't suck. =.= We're all humans after all..You'll make it out fine soon enough. =)
And I would link you if I had a blog..hmm..=S
you don't suck
your vodka does :P
go out, have some fresh air somewhere natural,clear your head and plan how you're gonna move on and leave all those disturbing memories at the back of your head to grow cobwebs.
Might sound cheesy, but go do charity or something :) you'll feel much much better, just keep your confidence up. We're all cheering for you!!! Roar!!
-fern
There's no way else to go but up, once you're down. :)
fashionasia, i am noott sulkinggg! should i put that as the title?
numenor, there isn't a good way to add to the post title huh? :)
Chris, I'm hanging, don't worry. dare I ask who are the plenty of people?
Jones, hi. and sure, link away.
rawr: i'm glad you find some connection. and thanks for your kind words.
hi again fern, so are you gonna tell me your blog yet? :)
hi strizzt, actually, one can still go further down. but i suppose ur right.
Thank you all for saying something. It's nice to know people out there do care enough to want to leave a comment. You know what's ironic? The more friends I make here, the more I interact with people, the more awkward I'd feel exposing raw emotions and thoughts. I'm slowly losing my anonymity as some random stranger who can blog pretty much anything he wants. (was that the plan, you?) It's funny what you think of me. I am nowhere near as special as how I sound.
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