Asian women can't drink!
I'm on to my second shot of whisky and already I feel my brain waves downshift to theta mode.
So I'm on a week-long sabbatical. Told my boss I needed a week off. I also told him I wanted to resign, so he agreed to the week's holiday instead. I should feel flattered my employer needs me more than I need him, but considering my job scope and workload, trust you me, it's not flattering after all.
I need time alone to recuperate, especially after my breakup, and the alcohol really helps, too. Heh heh heh. My friends all ask, "where are you going"? Nowhere! I'm going to myself, for once. Let my thoughts unravel without any pressures. Figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life.
Right, but before we go there, let me dish out some advice on how not to pick up girls.
I was at the same old pub the other night, when this beauty comes along, sings a song, and totally mesmerizes the entire male population in that joint.
I noticed she was with friends, but without a boyfriend. There's my chance, I thought. Look at the other losers trying to woo her with cat calls and immature displays of bravado. Oh no, I was going to be classier in my approach. So I said to the bartender, "Send her one of whatever she's drinking. On me."
Now, all my adult life, I've always wanted to use that line. Another one is, "Your place or mine". Still, one thing at a time.
She was drinking stout on tap. Ahhh...a girl after my own heart.
She's into her second song, the bartender goes over and hands her the stout. She politely declines before the bartender pointed at me. She looked my way, then smiled, and accepted my drink.
At this point, I was starting to feel like James Bond. I let her finish her song and down at least half of the drink I got her before I sauntered up real casual-like to say hi.
I was shocked! Her face was flushed, she was slurring, and she looked at some point near my earlobes as we talked. In short, she was wasted!
I just about managed to get her name (Hazel, I think) before she rejoined her friends, who proceeded to guide her out, and presumably, home.
My friend just laughed when I told him. The advice? Asian women in general can't drink, so don't try western wooing techniques on them.
So much for the Bond girl. I went home and cracked up over old episodes of Friends instead.
So I'm on a week-long sabbatical. Told my boss I needed a week off. I also told him I wanted to resign, so he agreed to the week's holiday instead. I should feel flattered my employer needs me more than I need him, but considering my job scope and workload, trust you me, it's not flattering after all.
I need time alone to recuperate, especially after my breakup, and the alcohol really helps, too. Heh heh heh. My friends all ask, "where are you going"? Nowhere! I'm going to myself, for once. Let my thoughts unravel without any pressures. Figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life.
Right, but before we go there, let me dish out some advice on how not to pick up girls.
I was at the same old pub the other night, when this beauty comes along, sings a song, and totally mesmerizes the entire male population in that joint.
I noticed she was with friends, but without a boyfriend. There's my chance, I thought. Look at the other losers trying to woo her with cat calls and immature displays of bravado. Oh no, I was going to be classier in my approach. So I said to the bartender, "Send her one of whatever she's drinking. On me."
Now, all my adult life, I've always wanted to use that line. Another one is, "Your place or mine". Still, one thing at a time.
She was drinking stout on tap. Ahhh...a girl after my own heart.
She's into her second song, the bartender goes over and hands her the stout. She politely declines before the bartender pointed at me. She looked my way, then smiled, and accepted my drink.
At this point, I was starting to feel like James Bond. I let her finish her song and down at least half of the drink I got her before I sauntered up real casual-like to say hi.
I was shocked! Her face was flushed, she was slurring, and she looked at some point near my earlobes as we talked. In short, she was wasted!
I just about managed to get her name (Hazel, I think) before she rejoined her friends, who proceeded to guide her out, and presumably, home.
My friend just laughed when I told him. The advice? Asian women in general can't drink, so don't try western wooing techniques on them.
So much for the Bond girl. I went home and cracked up over old episodes of Friends instead.
posted by caffeinated at 1:04 AM
16 Comments:
Ahh yes in general. But that's not really true also since I know a shit load of women with very very high alcohol tolerence. Problem is a lot of them react to alcohol with their moods so even though they are not wasted...it does bring out whatever they are feeling. And when they drink because they are stressed. Not a good moment to start a conversation...you know what I mean. :)
Yea, I guess so. I don't really have a really high alchohol tolerence but not necessarily a low one either. I've drank a lot and I thank god my liver is still running. Anyway, nice bond move. I'd love a guy who'd do a move like that on me :P
the women I know drink too much :)
The trick is to stop them at the right time before they become limp.
Hey actually, come to think of it, most women i know can drink pretty well. and i find its usually the men who start acting out their emotions.
fluffy, oh hoho, a martini for u anytime ur back in malaysia. ;)
sic: i think maybe the limp part is the male problem. ahaha!
i guess to some men, after the 2nd shot of whisky. lol!
you need some practice dude!
hey there, a friend recommended your blogs to me. You do seem to have quite a following eh? :)
I like your mental lexicon and literary expressions. My job depends on that, so I am impressed.
And yes, please go take that much deserved holiday. Post-breakups trauma are usually a result of pity and self-indulgence. Once you get out there and see how much better off u are in scheme of things in this world, u'll feel heaps better. I took a trip to Saigon of late and came back with a tan, a tailored ao dai and amnesia of my recent past r/s. Results!
You have to be kidding! Half a stout?! She must've had something else before that. But then again, I've seen a friend go completely red after two mouthfuls of Smirnoff Ice Red.. :P
sic: not me tsk.
froufrou: either ur a magical talking poodle or a very nice person. Who's your friend anyway?
Alynna: Not half a stout, she had her own stout before i added the second one.
Oh, if only she was drinking something less potent like a vodka lime.
One of the reasons cited for my recent breakup is the accusation that I was just "too nice". Go figure. Woof.
you don't know what "too nice" means? ohh.
It's in the book of coded phrases like "its not you, it's me".
don't look at me, i didn't write that book!
Fortunately, I am a clued up self-help junkie - I responded him: 'You bastard.. I wrote that book. In fact, I am still receiving royalty as we speak'.
Turns out he really does mean 'too nice' literally. So I gathered my apron, massage oils and shoe shine apparatus and left.
okay here's an idea frou2.
why not you start a blog and fully explore this topic there? :)
i'd want to know more, i really do. just be sure to drop me the url.
I do have a blog in friendster. I don't remember writing them tho. I suspect dead in the night, little elves from my head run off, log on and fill it with random rants.
Perhaps they too fear that my thoughts will die from loneliness...
well they needn't be lonely if you let me know the url.
Maybe. But I wouldn't be wasted with a couple glasses of beer! Even if I'd skipped dinner.
And i shall be lonely no more...
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